Parshas Titzaveh

" I can't believe that he married her. He is such a handsome guy, I
thought for sure he would marry a very pretty girl."
"According to his standards, her good deeds and character make her the
beauty queen."

"And you shall burn the entire ram on the alter, it shall be a burnt
offering to Hashem (G-d), it is a sweet fragrance to Hashem." (Shemos 29:18)
Rashi explains that the "sweet fragrance" wasn't referring the smell,
(because it smelled like burnt ram) but to the fact that Jews fulfilled the
commandment of G-d.

How do you define beauty, sweet, or good ???

Have a great Shabbos !!

Rabbi Chaim Flom
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Very good questions. I feel that beauty holds strong in equilibrium as mind holds a soul. Beauty must be looked within the prospective of a combination of soul and body. The orientation given in the innermost connection of soul, mind and body neccesarily ends up giving a reasonable shape to the qualities of sweetness and goodness As I understand a path that must be followed: Beauty----- sweet-----good

But not beauty in the sense of being beatifull in the outerbody but in the heart as our soul flows to all parts of our body and fills all our needs.

kol tuv

"And you shall burn the entire ram on the alter, it shall be a burnt
offering to Hashem (G-d), it is a sweet fragrance to Hashem." (Shemos 29:18)
Rashi explains that the "sweet fragrance" wasn't referring the smell,
(because it smelled like burnt ram) but to the fact that Jews fulfilled the
commandment of G-d.

Hey:
Doesn't chazal say something like that about BBQ? Everyone loves a BBQ, so why wouldn't g-d!

Dear Avrumie, (Avi)
Thanks question on my dvar Torah.

"And you shall burn the entire ram on the alter, it shall be a burnt
offering to Hashem (G-d), it is a sweet fragrance to Hashem." (Shemos 29:18)
Rashi explains that the "sweet fragrance" wasn't referring the smell,
(because it smelled like burnt ram) but to the fact that Jews fulfilled the
commandment of G-d.

Hey:
Doesn't chazal say something like that about BBQ? Everyone loves a BBQ, so why wouldn't G-d!

You're right, BBQ smells and tastes great---but this was the "olah" burnt (to a crisp} not roasted. If I come over when I'm in America, make sure it's BBQ and not olah.
Take care.
Rabbi Flom

Rabbi Flom- shlit"a

Are yom implying that it is wrong to want to marry a pretty girl?

B"H
Ed,

I am almost certain that Rabbi Flom was not saying that one should not marry a pretty girl. He was only saying that the real beauty of a person is that which is inward - i.e. his/her demeanor, character traits and disposition. Afterall, outward beauty vanquishes in old age. Of course, if a man can find these praiseworthy traits in a woman, coupled with her goodly outward looks, I think he will be most happy! Let us not forget that Sarah was a very beautiful woman; so striking was her beauty that the Rabbonim say that all other women had the visage of an ape when compared to her!

The Rabbonim of the Talmud have said that a man is not permitted to marry a woman until he has first seen her - that she might find grace in his eyes. So find a woman whom you can bear to live with. Yet, I will caution you, my friend. If a young man compromises, and takes a woman for her good looks over her good nature, he can expect to find trouble along the way.

David

Dear Ed,
I didn't say that one shouldn't want to marry a pretty girl. In a world where we just had REAL values, it might be true. However, a person has to marry a someone that he will be happy with. If it will bother a guy that his wife isn't pretty, then he should only marry a pretty girl. What I definitely AM saying is that we should realize, that "pretty" isn't "THE REAL BEAUTY". Therefore, if a girl doesn't have the middos (character traits) that you value, or isn't what you want religiously, DON'T MARRY HER even if she is the most beautiful girl in the world!! If you have 2 girls who both are exactly what you want, then if it makes a difference, marry the pretty one.
Many years ago, a friend of mine went to Rabbi Chaim Pinchos Scheinberg shli'ta,realizing that his great desire to marry a pretty girl wasn't so good. Rabbi Scheinberg told him "if you only want to marry a pretty girl, I guess you can only go out with pretty girls, but.... you're not exactly Clark Gable yourself" !!
Take care.
Rabbi Flom

The definition of beauty is allright when defined with in relation to the subject (anthropocentrically or subjectively) but is there a purely objective definition of beauty? This has halachic ramiofications regarding Hiddur Mitzvah and ze Keliu veanvehu.

Dear Shimon,
Thanks for the note.
Beauty in relationship to Hiddur Mitzva and zeh Kayli is multifaceted. In fact, in certain areas there are halachos of what defines beauty, an esrog is a prime example. On the other hand, as we see in Tosfos (Baba Kamma 9b) bigger is better (and therefore one should pay up to a third more). Similarly, I would imagine that in certain cases what people consider beautiful is also a hiddur. Obviously the "bigger" or "beautiful" is only good where it doesn't contradict a halacha and it seems appropriate.
Take care.
Chaim Flom

Shalom

A man must not married a pretty girl just for her looks since by doing so The couple might have to deal with unmanageable offsprings.
I think I read this advice in The Alter Rebe Wisdom Notes.
Lej Leshalom.

Everything in life has a positive side to it- even if a man ONLY marries a woman because she is beautiful- its better than not getting married at all. Because at least he is able to fulfill multiple mitzvos simply through the act of getting married.

However, this of course is not the highest level possible- but ochoa- we can never say "must not" because it could in certain situations be better than the alternative.

And i dont think it is simply marrying a pretty girl as a sole reason that the alter rebbe was in reality warning against- because if this were the only reason- i highly doubt it would be enough to warrant unmanageable offspring.
Probably he was pointing out the symptom, but underlying the symptom would be the real cause for unruly children. Obviously the man who marries SOLELY for looks has certain things to work on in his private mentality and this would most likely reflect in daily behavior in a many ways- and shape the children to be whatever they would be.
I think the alter rebbe was saying- if a man marries only for looks- it means he has a problem- and it will influence his children that way.

Dear Bracha,
I must strongly disagree with you. Most choices we have in life have positive and negative aspects to them. Just because there is a positive side to something, that doesn't get rid of the negative. In your example, the positive is having a child. Do you know how many people's lives are ruined because of bad marriages? Aveiros (sins)of sinas chinom (baseless hatred) that they never dreamed of before, shattered self images, just to name a few things.
I am NOT SAYING that this happens necessarily if one marries for looks, but to say that as an absolute, if something positive comes out, do it---is not true.
Take care and good Shabbos.
Chaim Flom