Many people dread Yom Kippor and they just can't wait until its over. It does not have to be this way. Yom Kippor is the most elevated day of the year and we should treasure every minute of it.

There are many verses in the Torah commanding us to observe Yom Kippor(1) and "afflicting ourselves" on Yom Kippor compromises both a negative and positive commandment. Why shouldn't we be happy and thrilled about fulfilling G-d's commandments even though there may be some difficulty involved.

I would like to paraphrase the sefer the Foundation and Root of Service:

"The main factor which atones for our sins on Yom Kippor is the affliction we experience. Even if one were to do a complete and absolute repentance their sin's would still not be atoned for unless they also fulfilled the positive commandment of "affliction" on Yom Kippor. The merit of this mitvah is much greater then other mitvoth because of the difficulty and suffering it takes to perform it. Intelligence dictates that someone who has an unquenchable love for his Creator will experience an elated and boundless joy by fulfilling the mitvah of suffering on Yom Kippor. The longer one preforms a mitvah the more happy they should become. As the fast continues and the suffering increases so should ones happiness. When on becomes weak during the fast they should increase their joy by considering the pleasure (nachas ruach) that they are giving their Creator by fulfilling His commandment to fast."

"But the person who complains and longs every moment for his self-inflicted suffering to end, surely did not fulfill this mitvah with happiness and love. He will not receive even one portion of one percent of the merit of the one who fulfilled the mitvah with joy. Their intentions are worlds apart and surely the one who complained all day will regret his attitude when he reconsiders the eternal and endless merit he could have received. Not only that, but one of them spent their Yom Kippor in happiness with a love for their Creator while the other was down trodden absorbed in their suffering, waiting for the fast to end."

How deep and true are his words! The only way to go through Yom Kippor is with happiness. So have a happy Yom Kippor!



(1) "And [all this] shall be as an eternal statute for you; in the seventh month, on the tenth of the month, you shall afflict yourselves, and you shall not do any work neither the native nor the stranger who dwells among you. For on this day He shall effect atonement for you to cleanse you. Before the Lord, you shall be cleansed from all your sins. It is a Sabbath of rest for you, and you shall afflict yourselves. It is an eternal statute." (Vayikra16:29-31)
"But on the tenth of this seventh month, it is a day of atonement, it shall be a holy occasion for you; you shall afflict yourselves, and you shall offer up a fire offering to the Lord. You shall not perform any work on that very day, for it is a day of atonement, for you to gain atonement before the Lord, your God. For any person who will not be afflicted on that very day, shall be cut off from its people. And any person who performs any work on that very day I will destroy that person from amidst its people. You shall not perform any work. [This is] an eternal statute throughout your generations in all your dwelling places. It is a complete day of rest for you, and you shall afflict yourselves. On the ninth of the month in the evening, from evening to evening, you shall observe your rest day." (Vayikra 23:27-32)

I love Yom Kippor. It's my favorite Yom Tov. I love the davening. I love the crowds. I love feeling like it's Hashem and me alone, and simultaneously that we're all in it together.

Unfortunately, I'm addicted to caffeine. In years past, this has cut down tremendously on my ability to concentrate and even stay awake. I would find myself suddenly waking up in the middle of kedusha (the highlight of the tefilla in 770 unlike the litvishe highlight of Nesana Tokef).

What to do? This year I discovered a solution:

Caffeine suppositories. I had a wondrous davening.

Is this wrong?

Should I be more into the affliction aspect of the day?

quote:

Originally posted by Neve Girl:
I love Yom Kippor. It's my favorite Yom Tov. I love the davening. I love the crowds. I love feeling like it's Hashem and me alone, and simultaneously that we're all in it together.

Unfortunately, I'm addicted to caffeine. In years past, this has cut down tremendously on my ability to concentrate and even stay awake. I would find myself suddenly waking up in the middle of kedusha (the highlight of the tefilla in 770 unlike the litvishe highlight of Nesana Tokef).

What to do? This year I discovered a solution:

Caffeine suppositories. I had a wondrous davening.

Is this wrong?

Should I be more into the affliction aspect of the day?

Eliyahu Navi was mocked by a fisherman, for spending all his time studying Torah... Eliyahu asked the fisherman, "After each man dies, and stands before HaShem, the Bet Din Shamayim will ask him/her 'why did you not learn Torah?' and what will your response be?
The fisherman, "I will tell HaShem that I was exempt from learning because I was not given the "tools of a Talmud Chacham, nor even of a yeshiva boucher!"
Eliyahu asks him, "How did you learn to fish, and use the nets, tie the knots, and sell the fish, etc... for your livelyhood?"
he responded, "HaShem blessed me with what I needed to become a fisherman! and blessed me with success in every season!"
Eliyahu asked, "Then if HaShem gave you everything to know how to be a good fisherman, then what did he fail to give you in order to learn Torah?"
The fisherman was devasted. Yet Eliyahu comes to him - places his hand on his shoulder, and says, "Do not feel so sad; for everyone has to face the contridictions of their own actions, eventually." credit to R' Tzvi Yaakov Zuckerman, who brought this story up concerning t'shuvah that is a pleasant and sweet, ie. like rei'yach ni'choach, 'a sweet aroma' for the koban...)
In my opinion, you took a step towards facing your own contridiction. If we spend all our focus upon the "affliction aspect" of Yom Kippur, (or even Tachanun) we can miss the fact that G_d has given us the strength to overcome part of our weakness - today. The point is not to go backward, yet to continue to move forward. The person who focuses only on how lacking they are, will find only lack, the idea of true t'shuvah is "to turn" - not to wallow in the situation. To pick up and move on is something that is in our history, it is part of our identity, to grow, to move forward, to become, to reveal... these are the marks of t'shuvah - not that one "afflicts" themselves continually. Recognize that HaShem says it over and over to us: "be strong and of good courage..." Good courage must imply that there can be bad courage... bad courage is like the person who allows circumstance to continually knock them down, and they get up, yet they are always reminding everyone that they continually get knocked down... good courage is like the person who gets knocked down, and he gets up and moves out of the way so as not to get knocked down, and if he does get knocked down he focuses on the simple idea of 'what do i need to do in order to... not get knocked down, or accomplish this'... It says that at Neilah, 'if we will open the slightest place in our heart, even a pin-hole, then HaShem will assist us in opening the whole heart... With such a promise, why do we not make that effort? why do we not recognize HaShem's gentleness and mercy... "Mishle Gimel/tet-zayin- 3:17) "The ways of the Torah are pleasantness, and all it's paths are peaceful." Rabbi Raccah (in Chicago) brought down (from Chazal) that "even partial t'shuvah is complete t'shuvah" especially when the part that can be dealt with is 'dealt with' in sincerity. And this is also similar to what Rebbe Nachman says, that "No effort is wasted. No amount of energy in doing t'shuvah, or in doing a mitzvah, or in study of Torah is ever wasted, or seen as insignificant in the "Eyes of Shamayim"... because we are loved with an eternal love. Chazak, on a small victory! May you go from strength to strength! b'smicha b'Sukot!

Thank you for answering me. But I think I'm missing something here. I don't understand the story of Eliyahu HaNavi in terms of how it pertains to me. And what is my own contradiction? How did I take a step towards facing it? I really don't understand.