When everything seems to go wrong at the busiest/most stressful times (when else do things go wrong?????) how can we practically make sure to keep calm?

For me, just knowing that G-d has his hand in everything, provides consolation in stressful times. I try to look at things going wrong as a test. Tests I feel will make me a better person.

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Originally posted by Emilio:
For me, just knowing that G-d has his hand in everything, provides consolation in stressful times. I try to look at things going wrong as a test. Tests I feel will make me a better person.

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how true! I guess our challenge is to internalise this until it becomes part of our reality.

Sometimes, when I'm totally frazzled and the kids are getting me nuts, I go into my bedroom and lock the door--for a few minutes to myself and clear my mind. Then I can face the world again.

My wife does the same thing.

don't let situations take you by suprise

I know i'm about to walk out into the snow I don't walk out and say "AHHH IT'S COLD, SNOWING"
I accept going out there, so I wear with 3 pairs of jumpers on and pyjama trousers below my trousers. it's uncomfortable but I can accept that.
Slightly bad situations don't really take me by suprise.
The problem, is when the situation is so bad that even if you move to a quiet area and think rationally about it in a non stressful environment, you still feel you can't stand it. And even with a peaceful mind, see this is not for you, part of you wants not to do it very strongly, and you're 'being torn apart' (or you would feel torn apart if you kept doing it). Frustration builds and builds and isn't being released. That is when you don't do it and do somethign else. I think this is what can cause a nervous breakdown.
There is a good online audio lecture "To Thine Own Self Be True" by Rabbi Dovid Gottlieb at his site

But for typical stressful situations, treat them like bad weather, half expect them, don't let them take you by surpise. And be able to retreat into a quiet non stressful place.

If you're in a public place then therhe's always the toilet. Thats' usually quiet and peaceful. Until you or the person in the adjacent cubicle causes a stench.
But there should be enough time to calm down in peace before that happens

I play off my grief through tangos and solea. Those are flamenco music styles. The Jewish people of Spain play Flamenco too. The Gypsies there say they are the best, from what I have seen I would have to agree. They are anually the last act, at the Paseo de Los Tristes concert in Granada, Spain, the treat everyone waits for. You don't have to play the guitar to get rid of your grief with music. A good Klezmer album, or Cantor does the same for me.

I just love to reopen old topics...

On the issue of stress I heard an amazing shiur before:

In the chumash we encounter the story of Pinchas who after his zealous act of killing Zimri (a nasi who committed forbidden acts with a non-Jewish woman) became a Kohen. Although Pinchas did an incredible act for Hashem- we learn that people began to complain about him and give him a hard time. So Pinchas went to Moshe Rabbenu and spoke with him of the matter and Pinchas recieved a bracha that he should be free from internal conflict. Come to find out- Pinchas lived an incredibly long life.

Sforno stops to bring to our attention that Pinchas' bracha was to be free from internal conflict- not to live long- and then he goes to make the chidush that being free from inner conflict and living long go hand in hand. A person who is constantly stressing is tearing down their internal organs. However, a person who lives in a state of internal peace will have healthy and protected body.

This may not seem like such a new concept to us- as we learned after the scientifict experiments of the 60's and 70's that blood pressure is related to stress- aka hypertension. A couple generations ago though- this wasn't a stardard thought- that body and mind were related!
However, hundreds of years ago this was known to Jewish sages!

When I start to get stressed I remember that we have a mitzvah to guard our life much- and that if stress breaks down the internal organs and makes me unhealthy bit by bit- how possibly can i stress? This would cause me to neglect the mitzvah of caring for myself!!!

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Originally posted by Bracha:
I just love to reopen old topics...

It's refreshing to see a new comment on a topic that has not been discussed for a while.

Along with Davidt's thinking. . . I like to plan for the potential what-ifs in advance. I then prepare a few solutions before whatever could go wrong occurs. This enables me to be calm when the situation strikes. I'm able to pull out answer a, b, or c to fit the bill.

In another vein, I find music very calming as is nature. Taking a long quiet introspective walk is a great way to bring calm - likewise listening to a relaxing piece of music (for me taht's Baroque music). Obviously, this is not always a solution if your children are around. That's when the previous answer suggested comes into play: go hide in your room (preferably with a good piece of chocolate!).