I know a girl(24 years old) who's mentally disabled. Now this girl really wants to get married. But because of her disability, she never will be mature enough to raise any children..... Do you think it would be halachically permissible for her to have a vasectomy so that she could get married without the risk of having children? Someone I know suggested that she take the pill, but she is not emotionally mature enough to take it every day....

Leppi,

Being mentally disabled and also desiring to be married suggest that her disability is not so severe. She needs to have a complete medical, neurological and psychiatric evaluation before any of what you suggest can be contemplated. Is her disability genetic or congenital? Do her offspring run the risk of being disabled too? There are many questions that can only be answered by a comprehensive evaluation.

About the halachic permissibility of a hysterectomy; that's the perview of the rabbonim on this blog. But IMHO I don't think a hysterectomy would be necessary. There are other methods that can be used without performing a hysterectomy.

Avi

If she used a different birth control method, it would have to be something that would not require her to do things on a daily basis. Or even on a monthly basis for that matter. (like the patch for example.) She is extremly likley to suddenly forget, and woops, the next thing you know she's pregnant.

They don't know the exact reason for her disability, and if it is genetic or not. As for exactly what her problem is, despite the fact that she is now 23 years old she will always have the maturity level of a 7-14 year old girl (depending on what.) So for example, she knows perfectly well how to cook, clean etcetera, but because of her mental level, she never does it unless for some reason she thinks it is extremly important (which most of the time she doesn't)

Leppi,

She needs a comprehensive medical evaluation. Then there are halachic and ethical issues to consider. Halacha doesn't even allow us to do it to animals. She is human and the ovaries belong to her. No one can just remove them because someone thinks her bringing children into this world is inconvenient. Who will take the responsibility for removing them, even if everything you say were true? She has to give informed consent to whatever anyone may want to do to her....even the basic use of specific contraception.

Again she needs a comprehensive medical evaluation. Then ethical and halachic issues may be addressed by competent poskim. The implications of your question are very far reaching.

Avi

I agree with Avi. Also, there are other considerations: Would the father, too, be mentally disabled? Would there consistently be relatives near to help raise the children and/or check to make sure they are being properly raised? Is the woman capable of controlling her temper?

As for her not properly cooking and cleaning or doing other tiresome tasks, most children 7-14 don't like to do these for the sake of doing them, but WOULD do them for another reason. For example, to please a husband who they love. To satisfy a whining child. Most 7-14-year-olds love children and will willingly do a lot more for them than they would for themselves or their parents.

None of this means it is always a good idea for mentally disabled people to become parents. These are just thoughts to ponder.

Also, one of the more important psychological tests would be to see if the woman understands the implication of sterilization.

quote:

Originally posted by Paulette:
I agree with Avi. Also, there are other considerations: Would the father, too, be mentally disabled? Would there consistently be relatives near to help raise the children and/or check to make sure they are being properly raised? Is the woman capable of controlling her temper?

As for her not properly cooking and cleaning or doing other tiresome tasks, most children 7-14 don't like to do these for the sake of doing them, but WOULD do them for another reason. For example, to please a husband who they love. To satisfy a whining child. Most 7-14-year-olds love children and will willingly do a lot more for them than they would for themselves or their parents.

None of this means it is always a good idea for mentally disabled people to become parents. These are just thoughts to ponder.

Also, one of the more important psychological tests would be to see if the woman understands the implication of sterilization.

We were told by the system that she's in (hostel where she lives) that the govn't would only allow her to marry if it would be to someone on the same disability level as her. And while there are relatives (her gaurdians) none of them have allowed her to even think of getting married because no one is willing to raise any children of hers.
Also, no she has very little control of her emotions. If she laughs, it's laughing so hard it gets out of control, same with anger, or geting upset etc.

Leppi,

quote:

We were told by the system that she's in (hostel where she lives) that the govn't would only allow her to marry if it would be to someone on the same disability level as her.

Can the government do that? These are basic human rights. Now, the government may ration its resources to her, it may withdraw certain benefits but I doubt any court of law would prohibit her from marrying whomever she wanted, regardless of the level of intelligence. If some genius wanted to marry her, no government should be able to prohibit it. The government can't be in the business of eugenics.

Avi

She lives right now in a gov't hostel for people of her disability level. In order for her to be able to remain in the system, she would have to marry someone of her disability level. If not, she will leave the system. and she needs to stay there because she can not live unsupervised.

quote:

Originally posted by Leppi:
In order for her to be able to remain in the system, she would have to marry someone of her disability level. If not, she will leave the system. and she needs to stay there because she can not live unsupervised.

Are there any facilities that she could move into that would be able to supervise her and her husband if they decide to get married? I know of at least 4 (four) developmentally disabled couples of various levels of (dis)abilities. They all have supervision from 24 hours a day to having a counselor come over to give medication.

We were told by the system that she's in (hostel where she lives) that the govn't would only allow her to marry if it would be to someone on the same disability level as her. And while there are relatives (her gaurdians) none of them have allowed her to even think of getting married because no one is willing to raise any children of hers.

Wow! I share the other posters' shock at the legality and morality of this. I also agree with their suggestions.

Also, no she has very little control of her emotions. If she laughs, it's laughing so hard it gets out of control, same with anger, or geting upset etc.[/quote]

These qualities DO NOT make for good parenting. Yes, I believe she would have to be constantly supervised if becoming a parent. And if the children lived in a place designed for the mentally unstable (so they could be supervised), and if the children were mentally okay, this would not be a good situation for them.

If she and the children could NOT be supervised, it really might be dangerous for the children. Forced sterilization seems drastic, but I can't think of another alternative. Hopefully somebody else can.

Getting married and having children are two separate things.