One of my other problems is what is the balance one needs between relying on Hashem to improve your situation and solving your problems and putting in your own effort to solve your own problems.

I offer this as a practical example, not a learned example. In my practice of medicine, I do cardiovascular anesthesia: I put people to sleep and keep them alive during bypass operations on the heart. Naturally, these are very high risk operations. I do the best I can and I pray with all my prayers that these patients should do well. This may be too easy, because it seems to me that my prayer that my patients should do well is also HaShem's will. If something is clearly His Will, then all we can do is our best and offer our prayers that He should cause our struggle to be fruitful.

The real question is, I believe, when we are unsure if a certain course of action IS the will of HaShem for us. It is so frequently unclear (or maybe we make it so?), and only prayer is helpful and to speak to others who share commitment to HaShem.

I think it is a tough one, especially when we have a choice what to do. e.g. when someone asks me to work for them, I can say to myself 'but Hashem is going to give me x amount of money anyway, so i don't need to do it.' or 'i have to do my hishtadlus'

It is very easy for us to choose what to say based on convenience e.g. if i do or don't want to do the work. But we have to be honest with ourself and know why we are thinking the way we are.

there is a powerful story (i think from the vilna goan) s/1 said he had bitachon he would win the lottery but he didn't win, how comes? the vilna goan asked him: if i offer u $20,000 for the ticket (the prize was $100,000) will u take my offer? the man answered 'yes' the vilna goan thus showed him that he didn't have true bitachon.