As you may/may not have noticed, we live in Houston, Texas. A dear friend of mine is dying of cancer here at M. D. Anderson Hospital. He has cancer in his blood (leukemia), in his bones, in his his brain, and spine. He has been through radiation, chemo, the works, and now is literally days away from going the way of all the earth. It is breaking all of our hearts, because we have been very close to him and his family for 32 years since I was a baby).

I finally left his side to give him some rest (he has difficulty sleeping, so I instructed the nurses to do their best to please leave him alone for a couple of hours). Like everyone else, I was (am) struggling with how to process all of this. Feelings of guilt for being a cancer survivor myself, torn betweeen what I should and shouldn't say to him...wondering how to say goodbye to someone so dear...
I went to my synagogue and sat down with my two little girls. we had a guest speaker and he began to tell the story about Yitzak Perlman. He told a story I had heard once before about how Mr. Perlman walked (if you have ever seen him in person, you know it is painful to watch him walk with his leg braces and canes), to his seat and began his piece. Only a few moments into it, one of his violin strings snapped (if you have ever heard one break, it is more like a small calliber gunshot!). The conductor paused the orchestra, but Mr. Perlman only nodded him on and for those parts of the piece that required that string, and that note's octave, he simply found it on a different register or reorganized the section altogether. When it was over, the audience, understanding (the best one can) what he had done, gave a resounding standing ovation. He limped to the microphone and told the crowd that his life's job was to make beauty with what remained.
By then I was gushing, and had to leave to straighten myself up ( I rarely cry). I realized, that during this last week, despite is immobility, my friend had successfully reunited me with his daughter ( who was my best friend fro twenty years and we grew apart because she moved, and life changes and all those things that come with that), he had reassured people who were uncertain about how much he loved them, had forgiven others who had treated him poorly, and had, in a very real way, been an inspiration to every single person around him, despite all of our grief and pestering, and most of all, despite his intense physical pain. I realized that my friend had truly made beauty with what remained.
I learned something this Shabbos. I learned that we must play the instrument that we have. I will never be Mr. Perlman, and may never be as fine a person as my friend Ken. But if they can do so much with so little, then I have a lot of work to do.
Sorry for the length of this, I just thought someone out there might be going through the same things...
Yocheved

we made funeral preparations tody at his request.

Yocheved

It sounds like you are a great friend and could use a hug. {{HUG}}

SURE COULD!! Shalom to you and your household. Please keep us in your prayers.
Yocheved

My dear friend, is now of blessed memory. He has gone the way of all the earth. Please pray for the immediate family...may he rest in peace. He was sleeping, and stopped breathing. Thankyou for your private letters. Yocheved