Science tells us that matter can neither be created nor destroyed. Thus, according to natural law, the existence of the most minute particle cannot be nullified. Even if an object undergoes absolute alteration or transference—it is present somewhere in the universe.

If this axiom is true concerning the material realm, then for certain it applies to the spiritual dimension. Hence, each thought that we generate with our minds, and every act that we perform with our body, can never be annulled, i.e., it exists forever. Although it may be concealed from our consciousness, even our most fleeting thought lives on eternally.

In light of this, we are responsible for all of our deeds and thoughts. Intuitively, we recognize that ultimately we will be rewarded for the good, and held culpable for the negativity that we have generated. At that time, when the repercussions of our actions are revealed to us, we will suffer both a natural sense of embarrassment, as well as, Heavenly disfavor.

However, the Torah provides us with a miraculous formula that nullifies both deed and thought. The first step is the performance of repentance which renders Heavenly forgiveness, but does not erase the existence of the act.

Therefore, in His wisdom and compassion, HaShem instructed Klal Yisrael to bring a sacrifice to the Temple. Just as the Torah and Mitzvoth operate in a fashion that is beyond human comprehension , so too, HaShem invested a wondrous power within the korbon chatas (sin offering). When the sacrifice is properly offered, it has the phenomenal capability to remove the deed from reality! Once this occurs, there is no longer any cause for embarrassment whatsoever.

There can be no sweeter joy than the removal of the flaws the we have effected.

Implement: Envision all the mistakes you have made in life—vanish—in the flames of the altar.

{Based on Ohr RaShaz, the commentary of Rav Simcha Zissel]

And today, we have only teshuvah and tachanun. I began my chazara beteshuvah many years ago, I live what I hope is a Torah lifestyle. I even received semicha in YD in Israel two years ago.

I am very comfortable as a Torah Jew, and yet, There is still something missing. I'm not sure if it is complete teshuvah for all my transgressions, especially before I returned, or lack of sufficient dedication in my learning. Maybe something else.

Although I live in a medium sized Jewish community, there seems to be no-one who can answer questions with real understanding. I hope that as time goes on, these forums will address that need. Thanks for listening.

Shalom Eliezer,
Thank you for your comment.
You are right--"All we have is Teshuvah". The Vilna Gaon said those exact words!
Mussar deals directly with opening one's heart to live and fulfill the Torah that he has learned. Rav Yisrael Salanter, the Father of the Mussar Movement, advised us to study Mussar evey day for about 15-20 minutes. Mussar heals our souls.
You might want to look at the new English translation of Ohr Yisrael (the classic writings of Yisrael Salanter) available online from Targum Press or at the Jewish bookstores.
If you like, send me your email address and I will place your name on the "emussar", which is the daily Mussar lessons that I send out (free).
Warmest blessings,
Rabbi Zvi Miller

Rabbi,

I can't find your email address!

Thankyou for this analogy, Rebbe Zvi--It was beautiful!

He who waters will also be watered.