This post was moved from the discontinued 7 Laws of Noah forum. Ex-members have <brackets> around their names.

I was wondering what the Jewish view on pre-marital sex was. Does it really matter if we have sex before marriage but have faith in g-d? Can we be forgiven if we keep doing it? Those are just some of the questions I have about it. I just want to know how most Jewish people feel about this issue according to Jewish law etc.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Rabbi Mitterhoff,

Moses brought the LAW from Mount Sanai...

Read them...It's the LAW...It's Forbidden!

That doesn't help much as far any explanation or citation of sources.

The 10 Commandments are the LAW !

That doesn't help to answer Kerri's question, which I am wondering about too.

According to Jewish Law one may only have relations with ones own spouse. Does it really matter whether we murder, as long as we have faith in G-d? If Hashem gave us specific laws and rules how to live our lives, we must live by them. Obviously someone who doesn’t follow those rules, doesn’t have faith. One who has faith believes that G-d wants us to live a certain way and abides by those rules. Where’s the faith otherwise?

About forgiveness, the first step in asking G-d for forgiveness is feeling bad about what we have done. The second step is leaving the sin behind and promising not to do it again. How can you ask forgiveness for doing something wrong while you are still doing it?!

What if your very much in love with the person who you do it with and plan to marry that person in the future?

If a relationship is prohibited, then it makes no difference that the 2 parties love each other.

Why not get married now? That solves the problem.

quote:

Originally posted by Leal:
The 10 Commandments are the LAW !

It's OK, we heard you the first time.

Anyway, I don't think you'll find sex before marriage mentioned in the 10 Commandments.

Your love of G-d should supercede your love for anyone or anything else. This is what is meant to love Hashem with all your heart and all your soul and all your possessions.

Many years ago they did not have Weddings like we know them today. When the secular world created marriage licenses, that is when Weddings became popular. Before that it was good enough if a couple was having conjugal relations that if there were three witnesses that they were considered to be married. I read and I think. I don't know if it applies.

I'm not sure that all you have written is correct. The idea that in Talmud times people would just jump into bed in front of two (not 3 BTW) witnesses in order to be married is not how I view what happened. True, the Mishna gives Bi'ah (conjugal relations) as one of the methods of betrothal, but by far the commonist was that which is used today, namely money or its equivalent (like a ring).

The only real difference between now and then is that then they used to have the betrothal (Kiddushin) up to 12 months before the wedding (Missuin) in order to give the couple time to prepare. Nowadays both are done under the Chuppah with the reading of the Kesubah making a separation between them.

Isn't it a little more acceptable when the two doing the act are deeply in love, rather than just having pre-marital sex casually with whomever?

Marriage has to be during the right time in both their lives. Weddings are also expensive and require lots of time.

quote:

Originally posted by Kerri:
Isn't it a little more acceptable when the two doing the act are deeply in love, rather than just having pre-marital sex casually with whomever?

It might look like that, but if something's wrong it is wrong.

If you're not Jewish, it's not such a big problem. A couple only need to agree with each other to live as husband and wife, and that's it. To divorce, all that's needed is the opposite agreement.

Quote from S.P.“True, the Mishna gives Bi'ah (conjugal relations) as one of the methods of betrothal, but by far the commonist was that which is used today, namely money or its equivalent (like a ring).”

Actually, this that “(conjugal relations) as one of the methods of betrothal,” is only a technicality that the woman is married. She needs a divorce document to get out of the marriage. But there is a prohibition to betrothal in this fashion. The Gemarah in Yevomos and Kiddushin says that the one who betrothals in such a fashion receives corporal punishment.

Quote from Kerri “Marriage has to be during the right time in both their lives”
If it’s not the right time, then you’re not as committed so much. This involves a lot of understanding of the philosophy of relations in Jewish law and ideas. In one hand it’s considered as the lowest form of animalistic behavior and is demeaning and repugnant. On the other hand, if done correctly within the law and with the understanding of the proper philosophy it could be a tremendous spiritual act and an obligation. But it will take a lot of time to explain the philosophy of this.

Quote “Weddings are also expensive and require lots of time.”

To have a technically Halachic wedding doesn’t really cost much. (All you need is a dime, a rabbi, 2 Kosher witnesses and 7 other people, a Chuppa and a Kesuba. Everything else is dressing.

quote:

Originally posted by Stephen Phillips:

quote:

Originally posted by Kerri:
Isn't it a little more acceptable when the two doing the act are deeply in love, rather than just having pre-marital sex casually with whomever?

It might look like that, but if something's wrong it is wrong.

If you're not Jewish, it's not such a big problem. A couple only need to agree with each other to live as husband and wife, and that's it. To divorce, all that's needed is the opposite agreement.

That's not true... it is wrong in other religions as well as in Judaism.

Thank you all for your input

This may go under the '7 laws' forum, but are there any laws governing premarital sex for Noachides??

pre-marial sex anywhere, anyplace, or, in any people,,,, is wrong and against the WORD of G-d.